READ DOWNLOAD ☥ Heads in Beds: A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles, and So-Called Hospitality ♠

I ll start with what I liked about this book As I would say to anyone who seems angry or upset with me in this case, it seems, the author is in general pretty upset with guests , I appreciate the candor In the author s words, Boom That s it.What I don t appreciate and this list is longer 1 Thanks for trying to tell me how to game the system and, essentially, steal and cheat No interest, thanks, though 2 It seems the author is bipolar In parts of the book, he has whole monologues about the importance of guest service These last for about two paragraphs each and must have been written after a positive guest experience Then you turn the page, and the author goes on a ten page rampage about guests, management, and anything non union.3 It s nice to know that you will turn around and bad mouth me to all your co workers unless I tip you at least 20 up front That really makes me want to treat you real special 4 Let s see a you don t care about guests, b you only care about your cash flow, c you will actually take steps to give guests an unpleasant experience such as the key bomb if they upset you and, finally d YOU WORK IN A SERVICE INDUSTRY Guess what, you should have been fired.Ultimately, the author states he really doesn t care if we, as guests, have a good experience What he cares about is the money So why on earth would I tip you up front, taking away the incentive of making my experience better A tip is for service performed In a way, this book is the ultimate hustle. Well I made it through the book OK, so I skimmed in places , though at around the 2 3 mark I was sorely tempted to bail Two stars out of five reflects that roughly 40% of the book has redeeming value, and the rest didn t, between repetition, attitude, and the author s personal life.First part covers his time at a new upscale hotel in New Orleans, where the author starts as a valet parker, bonding with the largely non white crew Then, he s promoted to front desk there, and we get much of that 40% relevancy with his work in that establishment He saves up a lot of salary, working so many hours after being promoted to a housekeeping manager, that he has no social life to spend much on So, he resigns to bum around Europe.Second part begins with his return from Europe to New York where, needing money, he takes a front office job at a faded hotel whose name still means something, although the guests seem to be mostly Priceline and business folks trying to stay within their per diems He bonds with the largely non white staff yet again, which I mention as he dwells on that Eventually, the hotel is sold to a private equity firm, which guts the place, making impressive but shoddy refurbishments, doubles the rates to attract the Glitterati, and fires as much existing staff as they can Author is union protected so gets to stay They keep harassing him, and writing him up to build up a termination case, yet he hangs on, out of stubbornness, and financial considerations.Other reviewers have mentioned that they wouldn t want him as an employee, and question his single sided view of events, to which I add an Amen Ironically, new hires require drug tests, but he mentions in passing that in NYC he was arrested for using drugs I don t think he meant pot with co workers in public I ve been an elite in a couple of hotel chain programs for a while now, and his antics don t match my experiences much at all The audiobook, which he narrates himself, highlights his coarse punkishness Pro s explanation of organizational structure of hotels, examples of dealing with both nice, and far from nice guests.Con s where to begin bragging about his drug use, lots of profanity, interchanging the term tip with bribe often , bragging about being a toyboy having sex with Sugar Mama in public places, bragging about celebrity guests, feeling incredibly sorry for himself for being miserable in a job where they outright want him to go, and throwing around throwing around money to employees as a swell idea he mentions it so often that I feel compelled to count that twice here.Despite my harsh comments, I think his heart is in the right place, but his personality on the whole was a real turn off. READ DOWNLOAD ♔ Heads in Beds: A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles, and So-Called Hospitality ⚒ In The Tradition Of Kitchen Confidential And Waiter Rant, A Rollicking, Eye Opening, Fantastically Indiscreet Memoir Of A Life Spent And Misspent In The Hotel Industry Jacob Tomsky Never Intended To Go Into The Hotel Business As A New College Graduate, Armed Only With A Philosophy Degree And A Singular Lack Of Career Direction, He Became A Valet Parker For A Large Luxury Hotel In New Orleans Yet, Rising Fast Through The Ranks, He Ended Up Working In Hospitality For Than A Decade, Doing Everything From Supervising The Housekeeping Department To Manning The Front Desk At An Upscale Manhattan Hotel He S Checked You In, Checked You Out, Separated Your White Panties From The White Bed Sheets, Parked Your Car, Tasted Your Room Service Meals, Cleaned Your Toilet, Denied You A Late Checkout, Given You A Wake Up Call, Eaten MM S Out Of Your Minibar, Laughed At Your Jokes, And Taken Your Money In Heads In Beds He Pulls Back The Curtain To Expose The Crazy And Compelling Reality Of A Multi Billion Dollar Industry We Think We Know Heads In Beds Is A Funny, Authentic, And Irreverent Chronicle Of The Highs And Lows Of Hotel Life, Told By A Keenly Observant Insider Who S Seen It All Prepare To Be Amused, Shocked, And Amazed As He Spills The Unwritten Code Of The Bellhops, The Antics That Go On In The Valet Parking Garage, The Housekeeping Department S Dirty Little Secrets Not To Mention The Shameless Activities Of The Guests, Who Are Rarely On Their Best Behavior Prepare To Be Moved, Too, By His Candor About What It S Like To Toil In A Highly Demanding Service Industry At The Luxury Level, Where People Expect To Get What They Pay For And Often A Whole Lot Employees Are Poorly Paid And Frequently Abused By Coworkers And Guests Alike, And Maintaining A Semblance Of Sanity Is A Daily ChallengeAlong His Journey Tomsky Also Reveals The Secrets Of The Industry, Offering Easy Ways To Get What You Need From Your Hotel Without Any Hassle This Book And A Timely Proffered Twenty Dollar Bill Will Help You Score Late Checkouts And Upgrades, Get Free Stuff Galore, And Make That Pay Per View Charge Magically Disappear Thanks To Him You Ll Know How To Get The Very Best Service From Any Business That Makes Its Money From Putting Heads In Beds Or, At The Very Least, You Will Keep The Bellmen From Taking Your Luggage Into The Camera Free Back Office And Bashing It Against The Wall Repeatedly In this Age of Memoir, I guess we were due for one by a hotel clerk Jacob Tomsky s book focuses on his experiences working at two hotels a luxury one in New Orleans and a Midtown one in New York All names have been changed, so there s no point stating them He even changed his own name in the text to Tommy Thomas In his introduction, he brags that he has worked in hotels forthan a decade and that he s probably checked us in before Jacob Tommy Thomas promises to give the reader advice on how to get the best deal and the best service, which I will summarize for you Tip the front desk clerk when you first arrive This may get you a room upgrade, free movies, a late checkout time, etc BOOM I just saved you 240 pages You re welcome.OK, so there s a bitto it then just sliding a 20 to the clerk He also recommends being nice to the staff which is generally a good policy to live by but in a hotel, if you manage to piss off the wrong person, you could end up with a string of annoyances, such as getting a room near a noisy elevator, getting mysterious wrong number calls, having your key card not work, etc He frequently says that a hotel staff is like a family, and they will trade stories about the guests who are mean, and the ones who are nice So always be nice Jacob Tommy Thomas has some decent stories about learning the hotel trade he started out as a parking valet, worked his way up to the front desk and later became a housekeeping manager but he comes across as an arrogant jerk, which made me like this book less For someone who boasts that he has a philosophy degree and that he s wicked smart, he could bephilosophical in his attitude.I used to be a hotel clerk, so I could relate to some of his stories But there was so much padding in the memoir that this would have made a better essay in The New Yorker It didn t need to be upgraded to a book.One of the promotional blurbs on the back cover is from Elizabeth Gilbert, who wrote Jacob Tomsky is a star The kid writes like a dream Heads in Beds is hilarious, literate, canny, indignant and kind revealing an author who manages somehow to be both a total hustler and a complete humanitarian I love this book Keep an eye on this writer I m telling you, he s a star I agree with one word in that paragraph hustler Tomsky is a hustler He even uses that word to describe himself in how he hustles for tips from guests When I started this book, I expected to give it a 4 star rating for Tomsky s fun hotel stories But his arrogance and narcissism wore me down and I dropped this to 3 stars. This will be short n sweet, since I m typing on my ipad, and doing a road trip with a challenging meeting behind me.The author provides several good reasons why you should not stay in hotels, if you re not into bribes, extortion or abundant tips You will regret it My mouth hung open for most of the book Rudeness will cost you dearly Don t despair, the disgruntled desk clerk also explains in detail how to raid the minibar and get away with it The friendships and wacky lingo between employees was hilarious A few tender memories balanced it all out.But really, sabotaging the business which paid their salaries was the same as cutting off your nose to spite your face and was annoying big time While causing financial losses, the employees unionized themselves in protecting themselves against being fired Amazing.I enjoy reading this book, since there was much to ponder and much to remember It was really entertaining and relaxing Worth it With Heads in Beds A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles, and So Called Hospitality, something unprecedented has happened in the publishing industry they published a book by wait for it a good writer gasp I know I m as shocked as you are, really While Heads in Beds is being marketed as Kitchen Confidential with a hotel slant, there s a marked difference between the two books Anthony Bourdain is a cocky chef who also happens to know how to open a Word Doc on a PC, and thus gets his half decent memoirs published Jacob Tomsky, on the other hand Goddamn, this kid can write Don t believe me Have a look for yourself When describing his asshole manager, Tomsky writes that when his supervisor spoke, it sounded as if his tongue were too swollen for his mouth, the words wet like a flopping fish Pen mightier than the sword and all that And if you can find me a passage anywhere thatperfectly describes the ambivalence of living in New York City, I ll buy you a Coke I couldn t help but think back to New Orleans Hadn t I been happier there I was a nicer person there, right How come I d even stayed this long in New York I might have already left the city, but in a way New York put a hex on me The gravity is so strong here, that center of the world feeling, it made leaving the city unfathomable I feel you, bro And then there is his description of New Orleans during Mardi Gras, which is nothing short of poetry I sat down watching the evening sun bleed from the streets, the city shifting into night, when it truly became New Orleans the music, the constant festival, the smell of late evening dinners pouring out, layering the beer soaked streets, prostitutes, clubs with DJs, rowdy gay bars, dirty strip clubs, the insane out for a walk, college students vomiting in trash cans, daiquiri bars lit up like supermarkets, washing machine sized mixers built into the wallslone trumpet players, grown women crying, clawing at men in suits, portrait painters jazz music pressing up against rock and roll cover bands, murderers, scam artists, hippies selling anything, magic shows and people on unicycles, flying cockroaches the size of pocket rockets, men in drag the affluent, the beggars, the forgotten, and the soft spring air pregnant with every scent created by such a town Whoa Hey Norton people, are you reading Anthologize this shit already.And don t worry Despite the good writing and many references to classical philosophy and literature and those references are correct, by the way, which in itself is surprising given that publishers crank out any old crap without bothering to check Cliff s Notes for accuracy , the book is hilarious think of me when you get to the section about Room 212 and is bound to inspire a maniacal laugh or two The hotel info Just an added bonus All of Tomsky s tactics are likely to score you upgrades and free alcohol the next time you stay in a hotel Sweet Hmmm, let s see Exceptionally good writing, humorous, and useful Know what I call that Un put down able I know I still can t believe it KICKED ASS. Having worked as in the service industry both as a waiter and front desk agent , I had high expectations for Jacob Tomsky s memoir about life as a front desk agent at a luxury hotel.And I was not disappointed Tomsky s description of life in the service industry is spot on the great friends you make on the job, the after hours drinking and commiseration with said friends, the casual use of profanity what you don t swear spend 2 months as a waiter or a front desk agent, and you goddamned will, mother fucker , the way you hate management and massage or completely disregard idiotic management policies, the mind numbing tedium of most interactions with your customers which is relieved almost always by angry assholes whom you learn to appreciate solely for their entertainment value and the once in a great while genuinely positive interactions with customers who are also really great people Heads in Beds is a book about the inner workings of life in the hotel industry, but it sthan that it s a dramatic soap opera, at time hilarious and at times sad, about the lives of the hotel employees If you know nothing about the hotel business, you will leave this book with a good education, but you ll also learn a lot about how to treat the people who work in the service industry you might think this would be obvious, but you might also be surprised by the portion of the population composed of assholes or of people just too callous and self centered to give a second thought to their bellmen, doormen, concierges, front desk agents, waiters, cab drivers, etc , and that s the best lesson from this book.Tomsky writes as if he is telling a story to his friends, which makes for very enjoyable reading, and he is a great storyteller. At one point in the book Jacob Tomski states I am a ing good writer I disagree This book would have been great at 20 pages Tomski s language is unnecessarily foul and he repeats the same anecdotes just in different locations While mildly entertaining in a few spots, the book does not deliver on the author s promise of how to work the hotel system I m not sure that anyone was looking for the secret to be summed up in one solution just hand out twenty dollar bills He also lost credibility about how big, bad, mean and unfair hotel management is as soon as he described, at length, how he and other employees milked the system, avoided work, and sat around bored This was a great concept for a book It was just written by the wrong author Tomski is a greasy, unsympathetic character who cannot write He only knows a handful of adjectives, and most of them are profane By the end of the book, I wanted to fire him myself Heads in Beds is the perfect dessert book Dessert books are the books you want to read when you don t want to cry at the end or get too emotionally involved in an overly intricate plot or when you really don t want to think too hard about anything at the end of a shitty day Sometimes people might think that lighter reading fare means that it s intrinsically not good, but that s just a matter of perspective For me, a great, light nonfiction read like this one totally makes my day.There have been comparisons of Heads in Beds to Kitchen Confidential and that s fair Tomsky spews the secrets of the hospitality industry without filter except to disguise guests and celebrities and it s all very voyeuristic and exciting From tips about tipping to how to get the contents of the minibar for free, Tomsky leaves no stone or bed ha unturned I think sometimes these industry tell all type books fall back on shock value or the disgust factor to amp up buzz around the book, but Tomsky doesn t need to do that The reason Heads in Beds works so well is because Tomsky is able to be snarky and insidery which can sometimes read as smug , but he still comes off as a genuinely likable person. This book is not what I expected I travel often and frequent hotels I was hoping for some behind the scenes action and useful tips If this is what the heart of hotels looks like then eww this book is trashy crass The author is a bitter and nasty, and by the end of the book he drowns his troubles in alcohol drugs Essentially, what I got from this book was unless I tip exorbitantly I could expect shit service and a shit experience I don t know about you but I m not about to toss around 10s and 20s, nevermind a brick I also found the way he mimicked the vernacular of blacks, latinos, and Asians extremely offensive If I walked in the lobby of a hotel he was behind the front desk, I would abandon my reservation I do not recommend this book.